“Rising in Love”

“In fact a mature person does not fall in love, he rises in love. The word ’fall’ is not right. Only immature people fall; they stumble and fall down in love. Somehow they were managing and standing. They cannot manage and they cannot stand – they find a woman and they are gone, they find a man and they are gone. They were always ready to fall on the ground and to creep. They don’t have the backbone, the spine; they don’t have that integrity to stand alone.
A mature person has the integrity to be alone. And when a mature person gives love, he gives without any strings attached to it: he simply gives. And when a mature person gives love, he feels grateful that you have accepted his love, not vice versa. He does not expect you to be thankful for it – no, not at all, he does not even need your thanks. He thanks you for accepting his love. And when two mature persons are in love, one of the greatest paradoxes of life happens, one of the most beautiful phenomena: they are together and yet tremendously alone; they are together so much so that they are almost one. But their oneness does not destroy their individuality, in fact, it enhances it: they become more individual.
Two mature persons in love help each other to become more free. There is no politics involved, no diplomacy, no effort to dominate. How can you dominate the person you love? Just think over it. Domination is a sort of hatred, anger, enmity. How can you think of dominating a person you love? You would love to see the person totally free, independent; you will give him more individuality. That’s why I call it the greatest paradox: they are together so much so that they are almost one, but still in that oneness they are individuals. Their individualities are not effaced – they have become more enhanced. The other has enriched them as far as their freedom is concerned.
Immature people falling in love destroy each other’s freedom, create a bondage, make a prison. Mature persons in love help each other to be free; they help each other to destroy all sorts of bondages. And when love flows with freedom there is beauty. When love flows with dependence there is ugliness.”-by Osho

I have reread this passage over and over, only to decide that perhaps “falling in love” should never be called love at all. Instead it seems it is a wolf-like idea dressed in a sheep-suit of fake-love. Similar to the idea of conditional love: can love truly exist within the confines of a condition? Can it grow and thrive with the expectation that something or someone will be the way we want to shape them or imagine them to be in our head?
When we place false images on the things or the ones we love, we don’t really see Them. We love an idea and an idea can fail us. I believe people rarely fail us, but rather the ideas we have placed upon them and how we believe they should be are the reasons we become disappointed. Unconditionally loving a person, “rising in love,” is like faith, when we go forth without expectation, but with a sense of wonder and excitement that all things are as they should be, we are set free.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. mik
    Jun 24, 2013 @ 00:35:10

    Unconditional love has always confused me. To me it seems, if someone loved me unconditionally then I might has well have been someone else and they still would love me the same. Unconditionally love seems like unchosen love. I want someone who loves me because I have traits they have found in no one else. The distinction that sometimes helps me is to separate romantic love from unconditional love and to affirm the importance of both for me. I can love someone unconditionaly in one sense but conditionally in another.

    Reply

    • mik
      Jun 24, 2013 @ 00:37:40

      ugh…. I meant to say “unconditional love seems like unchosen love” not “unconditionally”

      Reply

    • giovannaleah
      Jun 24, 2013 @ 01:20:08

      Mik,
      Hmmm, I suppose I never looked at it like that. I suppose I looked at it… exactly the opposite. For me, if there are “conditions” then they are making a person up that they think I SHOULD be in order to love me. Love without conditions means that they love me no matter what I come to them as… meaning they love me as myself and accept me as myself (example: dancing pants-less or clothed..ha)!
      Although, I do understand wanting to be loved beyond others. It feels nice to be loved above the masses.
      =)
      Gia

      Reply

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